I expected to experience some changes with my cycle and my body after loss but to be honest I didn’t even think about how it would change my period. Now that I am two cycles down after loss and I’m on cycle day seven and still bleeding - I need to vent about these changes because I feel like I am going a little nutty over here.
the purpose of this blog post is to talk about what I didn’t know about miscarriage until I had one. I’m writing this in hopes that it will educate other women so they can be more prepared going into a situation rather it be in their personal life or someone they know. Before we went through our loss, I tried so hard to find out what I could expect from miscarriage. No one really told me the truth.
I feel like I have talked so much about our miscarriage and i’ve shared how I felt during and after, what helped prepare me, but I felt the need to share Kerry’s perspective of our miscarriage too. It’s no secret that our partners experience this differently than us because of the physical aspect but I don’t want us to forget about them and their pain. They experienced a loss too and they experienced it knowing that you suffered through so much. So I sat down with my husband and asked him questions through the different stages of our personal experience with miscarriage.
Below I have a few words from six women around the world. They share some insight on their miscarriage, how they recovered, what it was like for them, and more. I'm so in awe of how willing they were to share their thoughts and feelings all to share awareness. I hope that reading the strength that these six women have had to had, shows how common miscarriage is and that it can happen anywhere and if you’ve had a miscarriage - you aren’t alone.
Today I miss you which may sound silly because I knew nothing about you other than you existed. Hurricane Michael came through North Carolina yesterday and knocked our power out. Your dad went to work today so I sat in the house alone all day and I think it’s the first time in 16 days that I really realized how alone I felt because you were no longer with me everywhere I went.
Going through my miscarriage was easily the worst thing that I’ve ever been through. For the weeks leading up to our last scan, I would Google and try to ask other women for advice on how to be prepared incase I miscarried naturally and literally everyone told me to expect a heavy period, stay hydrated, and get heavy duty maxi pads. I’m about to give it to you straight, you need a lot more than those three items. Lucky for you, I’m here to tell you exactly what you need to have in your house because let me tell you, once that miscarriage starts you aren’t going anywhere.
Since opening up about my recent miscarriage at the end of September, I’ve received numberous emails and Instagram direct messages from women all over the world who were given the same devastating news that I was given. These women are looking for support and to be educated on what they can expect because all they were told was “prepare for a heavy period” which if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you know it’s much more than that.
TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post discusses pregnancy loss/miscarriage and may contain details of my personal experience with miscarriage. Please protect your mental health and if you are afraid that this post will be too hard for you to read, do not continue reading past this point. So much love to all of you angel baby mamas out there.
From the moment that we found out we were going to be parents, we were obsessed with every thought about you. It makes me so sad that you never had the chance to know us, because we had every desire to be the best parents that we could be. We talked about everything from who you would favor the most, what your name would be, where you room would be and how we would arrange furniture, which of our dogs would love you the most (we think it would have been Stella), and how we would spoil you with all of the things we never had when we were kids.
On Thursday around lunch time, I went to the bathroom (just to pee) and when I wiped I saw some brownish discharge and/or blood. My first reaction is to be upset and I think the reason why is because for 15 months, blood meant “ NOT PREGNANT” so it kind-of messed with me a little.
For the last week, we haven’t really talked about Baby C. We stopped making plans, stopped talking about the future, more in an effort to protect our hearts. Instead we had a lot of really difficult conversations such as miscarriage and what that could look like for us. It’s no secret that I am pretty terrified of miscarrying at home. Let’s face it, miscarriage in general is terrifying. It’s cruel, it’s not what we had in our plan, and I just really don’t want to do it. But like I mentioned in my last post, the surgery isn’t an option for us at this time. If it comes to it. My OB wrote me a prescription for a pain medication in case it happens naturally or in case our RE, Dr. Park, doesn’t prescribe us pain medication. I also have heavy duty pads, a heating pad, Ibuprofen, and know to drink lots of water/Gatorade. I am prepared with materials, but emotionally I don’t know if I could ever prepare.
We went in for our first OB scan on Monday, when I would be 7 weeks. I had been feeling anxious for days, worried that something would be terribly wrong and that we would lose the miracle baby that I had been carrying for the past two weeks. As we sat in the room and I got prepared for the vaginal ultrasound (which wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it would be) my legs were shaking, which is normal when I’m anxious. I felt so sick to my stomach, but I wrote these emotions off as “normal” because I know that every woman and couple feels these emotions before the first ultrasound. I kept telling my husband how nervous I was but he reassured me that everything would be fine. As the ultrasound began, my reproductive endocrinologist, who is amazing by the way, pointed out my uterus and the yolk sac.