“Today I wanted to talk about post-miscarriage because now my bleeding has completely come to a stop, symptoms are gone, and life is different. Before experiencing a miscarriage I thought that when I heard of someone experiencing a pregnancy loss, that it happened in one day. In my defense, I also didn’t know that postpartum women bleed for up to 6 weeks. I was pretty uneducated until entering this incredible community.”
Since opening up about my recent miscarriage at the end of September, I’ve received numberous emails and Instagram direct messages from women all over the world who were given the same devastating news that I was given. These women are looking for support and to be educated on what they can expect because all they were told was “prepare for a heavy period” which if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you know it’s much more than that.
So, per usual, I told you like it is. Every horrific detail, written for the world to read and at first I was really nervous about how that would be received. People don’t always accept honesty and graphic details which is why I believe a lot of people don’t publicly share what their miscarriage is like. I should add that my inspiration behind sharing the details of my miscarriage came from blogger/podcaster, Jenna Kutcher. She is a wedding photographer that educates entrepreneurs but she is more than that because she has shared her journey with fertility struggles and reoccurring miscarriages. I highly suggest you listen to podcast (episode #11, #21, #61 specifically). But she was my inspiration behind sharing my story as in-depth as I did and I am really happy that I wrote about it. It not only helped me to journal it BUT it seemed to have helped many others too.
Today I wanted to talk about post-miscarriage because now my bleeding has completely come to a stop, symptoms are gone, and life is different. Before experiencing a miscarriage I thought that when I heard of someone experiencing a pregnancy loss, that it happened in one day. In my defense, I also didn’t know that postpartum women bleed for up to 6 weeks. I was pretty uneducated until entering this incredible community.
First, I took off work for 3 days post-miscarriage. I am truly lucky to have a supportive leadership team at work and they were more than generous with allowing me time off. I am a workaholic at times so I managed to do some things from home. I just couldn’t sit on the couch and recover and do nothing. Obviously, I did tell my bosses and close coworkers about my miscarriage and I know that a lot of other women do not. I’ll share more details on that aspect of my journey later because it’s a pretty impactful one.
The day of my miscarriage, since it happened in the early morning of September 26th, I never went back to sleep (I don’t know how anyone can sleep after that) and I felt like I had a high adrenaline rush. That first day was pretty crazy for me physically because I had never gone through anything like that before. My legs were shaky, I felt like maybe I was in a bit of shock, my stomach was cramping like crazy, and I was still bleeding heavily but after 3 a.m. the worst was over and I could recover in bed or on my couch. I am someone who called my doctor with an update everyday because I wanted to know if something sounded normal or not. Just know, that’s what your nurse line is there for! Call with questions, always.
The first few days post-miscarriage I just felt really sore. I felt like I couldn't do a lot, even though I tried. I kept trying to do laundry or clean the house or cook dinner and I was in pain every time. It’s like my body just needed to sit in bed or on the couch and if I tried to do too much, it let me know to stop. I wore sweatpants and my adult diapers for days, again, they were my comfort zone.
I remember the third day post-miscarriage was tough. It was a really bad day, my bleeding seemed heavier and the cramping was so painful that I could hardly breathe. They weren’t as painful as the cramps I had that night of the miscarriage but they were similar to my super painful period cramps. I called my doctor to let her know about the painful cramps and I was told to take the painkillers because well, that’s what they were prescribed for. So I tried to stick it out until bedtime and planned to take a painkiller before bed (so I would sleep through the night without the pain waking me up and so I could sleep through the high of the painkiller) and that seemed to work for me. I’m not a fan of painkillers because I don’t really like how they make me feel so sleeping through the high and pain worked great for me. Some other things that helped my pain, I took Midol during the day and that did help a little, not a lot, but a little. I also used a heating pad. I LOVE my heating pad because heat always helps with any cramping I have.
Here’s what you can expect to experience post-miscarriage because I know that bleeding for days on end can be concerning. I would say that I had heavy bleeding and blood clots (the clotting would happen randomly) for an entire week. Trust me, I called my doctor to make sure that everything sounded normal. I also asked a lot of other women in the community and some bled for anywhere for 7 days to a whole month! So it’s pretty unpredictable. Have enough pads (and adult diapers if you took my advice in my last post) to last awhile just in case. If you have extras, you can always donate them to someone in need from the community!
My bleeding finally started to slow down 8 days post-miscarriage and was now more brown in color than red. By the 9th and 10th day post, the bleeding was basically non existent. Now, as I write this I am 12 days post-miscarriage and no blood in sight.
I know it’s hard to think in the moment but it does get better. It’s hard to see the blood and blood clots for days after the worst day of your life, but it will get better. You are tough and you just went through the hardest thing imaginable right now. Give yourself grace, allow yourself to heal physically and emotionally.
Mentally and emotionally, I can’t tell you what to expect because it’s different for everyone. I recommend taking a few, if not many, days to yourself. Allow yourself to feel all of the feelings and be selfish for awhile. You need to take care of yourself. And if the grief becomes too much, know that there are resources to help you because you aren’t alone. That’s a fact.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, feel free to email or direct message me on social media at anytime. I’m here to be supportive and educate you as much as I can. You truly are not alone and don’t forget that.