Hi, I'm Candace. When I first laid eyes on my husband, Daniel, in 2009, all I could think about was what our babies would look like. We fell in love fast, married in 2010, and began trying to start a family very soon after. Two years passed with no pregnancy and I feel into a deep depression; consumed with bitterness and anger. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility and tried all the gateway fertility drugs with no luck, so we were referred to a specialist who suggested we try an IUI in 2013. That was also unsuccessful. We were so intimidated by the cost involved and that one trigger shot had me shook (boy, if only I knew what was in store for me)! We decided to stopped seeking medical intervention at that point and continued to try naturally.
In the spring of 2014, we were shocked to find out that we were pregnant and were elated to finally have the opportunity to tell our families we were expecting! Everyone said it would happen when we least expected it, and they were right - but what they didn't say is that the worst would also happen when we least expected it. Just two days after announcing the happy news to our families, an ultrasound revealed there was no baby in my womb; it was ectopic. Fast forward another two years and we had suffered another miscarriage, so we decided to be proactive and meet with another Reproductive Endocrinologist.
We first met with our current clinic to discuss IVF in December of 2016 and to date, we've endured three rounds of IVF, multiple canceled cycles, and five failed frozen embryo transfers. With only three embryos left in the freezer and my RE unable to help us any further, we’ve decided to try and get more answers by working with a Reproductive Immunologist in New York. We know this is our last hope of having our own biological child, so we are all in and clinging to hope by a thread.
Seven years of infertility have been made up of lots and lots of days where we have wondered when it would happen for us... and if it ever will. My body has failed me and my husband so many times and that is a difficult realization to carry. I feel like a money pit. We aren’t able to spend holidays with our families or take a vacation due to the immense financial burden that this infertile life has thrust upon us. Infertility isn’t singular. It isn’t simply just not being able to have a child. It is a wrecking ball, swinging through your life, knocking things over without regard for the damage its doing. It spills over into every aspect of your life: from your job to your relationships to your encounters with the fertile world around you. When every advertisement is geared towards the struggle of parenthood, you fall through the cracks and feel so small and forgotten - like you’re invisible. I can’t imagine going through this without the support I’ve received from the TTC community. I am so thankful to have connected with women who truly understand what I’m feeling.
Everything considered, we have to keep going because the alternative is to simply give up on our dreams. We know that someday the struggle will be a distant memory but until that day, we’ll hold tight to each other, and to our fur babies, and keep moving.
Check out more about our story on YouTube at Operation Baby Bump https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQCNq8Uu3cjlXSU0C2kXTA
Our Bonfire T-Shirt campaign at Operation Baby Van Wade https://www.bonfire.com/store/operation-baby-vw-store/
Follow Candace on social media - www.instagram.com/operationbabybump