October is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month with today, October 15th, being the official Remembrance Day for all of the lives that have been lost. My heart is heavy when I talk about this topic and not only because I recently miscarried but because it’s truly heartbreaking for a mother to lose their child. There are no words that you can say to make it better, you can’t change it, you just have to live your life with this on your heart.
Below I have a few words from six women around the world. They share some insight on their miscarriage, how they recovered, what it was like for them, and more. I'm so in awe of how willing they were to share their thoughts and feelings all to share awareness. I hope that reading the strength that these six women have had to had, shows how common miscarriage is and that it can happen anywhere and if you’ve had a miscarriage - you aren’t alone.
“My husband and I are meticulous planners. We plan everything and leave very little to chance. We planned to have a baby and tried to get everything lined up perfectly to the time we wanted it to happen. I was testing for ovulation, hit a positive test, and boom--everything worked perfectly! I had a positive pregnancy test on the first try, with a baby set to arrive in late January 2017! We had plans to travel for a family reunion, so we decided to get me checked out ahead of time to ensure there was no chance of ectopic issues during our flight. At 6 weeks we had an ultrasound and saw our first glimpse at what we created. It looked like a big circle with a small tail curved around it. Other than a little nausea, the family reunion went well. We had the family help narrow down our name choices and we had our top options for a boy and a girl so we'd be prepared either way. See how well we plan? At ten weeks, we were excited to go in for another viewing of our growing little one. The doctor said that she could not see anything. She mentioned that sometimes she couldn't see when a patient's uterus was tilted. She sent me across the street for an ultrasound. That's where we found out that the reason the doctor could not see anything is because it was no longer there. I still had a lot of thick lining, but the circle with a tail was gone. I was very sad because we were so excited and now we knew we had to start all of this all over again. It was frustrating. I could not see babies for the next week without breaking out into tears. That weekend the bleeding started. A few weeks later, the lining had not completely dissolved, and the doctor let us know that we could begin again faster if we did a D&C to clear the lining and help restart the process. When I conceived again three months later, I was very nervous for a very long time about losing it again. Luckily, however, this time it worked out, and my son is now 15 months old. We have been trying to conceive again with more difficulty this time around, and my nerves are still very unsettled about what could happen, but I am hoping for the best. “
BECKIE PARKER | www.marrymuse.com
“As much as both miscarriages broke me down and shattered our hearts, it also made me stronger and realize how brave IVF makes you. I had a stronger desire to push forward and to get my well being in check. It’s a terrible thing to have to experiences and life is never the same after a miscarriage, but my strength really powered through.”
ANONYMOUS from California, USA
“We don’t believe our children are angels but is in heaven waiting to meet us one day. I know how fragile life is now and don’t want to miss a second with my living child or family. when she was in the womb I used to say she is the safest place my baby will ever be but now after losing two children inside of me, I know that is not as true as I once believed. At least my child was loved every second of it’s life. That they were hugged and cuddled in me every moment of their short lives.”
ANONYMOUS from Pittsburgh, PA, USA
“I’ll talk about my second miscarriage because that hit me the hardest. I was home and a new mother to my daughter, only 10 weeks postpartum. I suspected that I was pregnant but I wasn’t sure. I felt a hush of fluid and then when I went to the bathroom and cleaned up a fetus was on my tissue. I immediately broke down. I think about it very often. I would have a two year old and a three year old today if I hadn’t lost it. I always wonder what that would have been like. My friends’ support really helped me through it.”
Liz from Maryland, USA / Instagram
“My miscarriage has been nothing short of an amazing journey. We did not expect I was pregnant for merely 2 months and by the time we knew, it’s the time to say bye as well because it was ectopic which means I have to get the baby out by any chance he/she is still alive at that moment. I have never seen my husband who is also a doctor, care for me like I was his patient He was so diligent and careful, he was with me all the way through and I couldn’t be thankful enough. He showed me love starts from us two before anyone else. And to my baby angel, mommy will always pray to meet you again one day in heaven. Now I’m still trying to conceive and it’s near past three months after the operation. I am thankful again and hopeful that this could be a start to the next wonderful chapter in our lives.”
Annisa from Malaysia
“I always think I’ll be so scared the next time I get pregnant. I won’t let myself be excited, I won’t get attached. I’m wrong. The moment I know there’s a baby I’m filled with an unexplainable love for that child. I begin to dream for it, plan for it. You’d think it would make the losses harder but really, when I think about it, I don’t know how I would have survived without love.”
Becca from Edmonton, Alberta / Canada | All Four One