Welcome to my blog. I document my journey through infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage, pregnancy after loss and now recurrent pregnancy loss.
Recurrent pregnancy loss has robbed me of the joy of having a positive pregnancy test. It has created a barrier in infertility support groups where I have been labeled as a “fertile myrtle”. I have even had to fight the battle with my insurance company where the state mandates infertility benefits but they do not recognize recurrent pregnancy loss as infertility.
Warriors, today I’m going to share five instagram accounts to follow in the #InfertilityCommunity. A lot of you may already be following these influential women but if not, hit that follow button right away!
I hand picked these five women based on my experience following them. As you can see from the photos below, there is a range of followers on these accounts. I think that an “influencer” is anyone that influences their following rather it be 20, 50, 200, 1000, 40k followers - you are helping others by sharing your story, whatever that may be. Each of them are honest, brave, real, funny, and relatable and that’s why I’ve picked them for this list.
“Are you sure on your last menstrual period Kimberley?”
“Yes, absolutely” I replied.
“I’m so sorry, I can see a sac but it’s empty, would you like to see?”
Warriors, I’m going to be really honest with you.. I’m struggling with feeling a lot of jealousy towards other pregnant women, especially those who seem to have it easier than me and Kerry. While I know this sounds absolutely terrible, I think it’s important to talk about because the feeling of jealousy is human. It’s completely normal and if I didn’t admit that I often struggle with it, well I would be a liar.
We tried for about a year with no results, so my doctor said “ok lets try some fertility medication.” I read so much about clomid and all the success stories and we figured we would be pregnant in no time. Our first round our doctor started us on was 50mg with blood work on the 1st and 20th day of my cycle. No pregnancy.
Finally, the due date came, and as I had come to expect, it was not without complication. There were four hurricanes hitting in Florida in 2004, and my doctor and I made the decision to induce labor quickly before the hospital shut down due to the severe weather. On September 11, 2004, I gave birth to my miracle baby. She truly was perfect in every way, and continued to be the happiest, easy going baby there ever was. In fact, at one point I took her to the doctor in a panic because I was sure she must be deaf since she didn’t startle easily or cry very much! Oh how naïve we can be, right?!
With Hello Warrior, I try to talk bout topics that revolve around trying to conceive and infertility. One topic that I don’t have experience with but think is very important is male factor infertility.
According to the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, of all of the infertility cases approximately 40-50% of cases are due to a male factor. Ya’ll that is such a huge percentage! Months ago I wrote on Instagram asking for ya’ll to reach out if you felt comfortable sharing your experience with male factor infertility and luckily I had five super brave women share their experience with me. I offered to send them general questions about MFI and below are the responses that I got.
Thank you to Lauren, Rosie, Sarah, Erika, and Jalina for sharing their journey’s so openly.
Dear Miscarriage Warrior,
I understand you. Honestly, I understand you a lot more than I would like to.
I understand what it’s like to hear the words “your baby should have a heart beat by now”
I understand how devastating the silence is during your first OB scan because the doctor is trying so hard to find some good news for you
I understand what it’s like to walk around carrying a child that you know is no longer with you
Since sharing our good news, I have received so many messages on Instagram asking questions about our medicated cycle. So I thought, why not put together a blog post breaking it down? And here we are!
Our protocol was called a “medicated monitored cycle with timed intercourse” and it included these medications:
Letrozole (2.5mg)
Ovidrel “trigger shot”
Progesterone Suppositories
As you can tell from the title of this blog post, I’m going talk all a lot about cervical mucous and sex so if you know me in my personal life or feel uncomfortable with this topic, then please do not continue past this point! I do feel that this is an important topic in the trying to conceive community.
I never had a regular, periodic period. Ever. Ok, maybe back then for a couple months when I was about 15 or 16 and the OBGYN prescribed a contraceptive pill so that my period becomes regular. It did become regular - for the three months I was taking the pill. Then I stopped taking the pill (with my boyfriends we always used condoms) and never went back to that obgyn. I just ignored the issue and my mother didn’t force it either, now I regret this but I don’t know what more could have been done back in my teens.
I apologize for taking a few days to tell you all the news. I was waiting for blood results to confirm and then I waited to see if my HCG levels rose before announcing good news. While this post contains amazing news, I have to be totally transparent with you and tell you that I am scared. I knew that pregnancy after loss would be hard, that seeing a positive pregnancy test might bring up some old emotions, but everything is much more heightened than I imagined.
We found out on the drive to the hospital for our scheduled transfer and we had to turn around and drive back home - I cried so hard and I was physically feeling the pain of that loss.
When one of the editors of Love What Matters reached out to me and asked if I would like share our infertility and miscarriage journey on their blog/social channels - it was a no brainer. I was honored to be approached for this opportunity. I’ve know of Love What Matters for awhile now and I’ve read many of the stories that they have shared. They do so much good for many different communities, two of which being the infertility and pregnancy loss community.
I’ve mentioned in many past blog posts that I’ve reflected on all of the negatives, the failed cycles, the short cycles, and the late ovulations and I’ve tried to find silver linings in them. So that’s how these lessons came to be. I forced myself to sit down and put pen to paper, brainstorming at least five things that I learned about myself while we have faced infertility.
So, here’s the deal. Battling infertility comes with a lot of self-blame. At least it did for me. I spent my days researching what could increase my odds of conception, and my nights beating myself up for having a broken body. I allowed my negative thoughts to unravel virtually every aspect of my life.
Hello, Warrior! This morning we had our follicle scan and I’m just now starting to feel better (thanks, hormones) so I’m able to put pen to paper (or fingers to laptop) and write all about what’s been going on in the Cartrette household. As you know we are doing a medicated cycle with Letrozole, Ovidrel, timed intercourse and progesterone suppositories so per usual I wanted to jot everything down, share my experience, and just document whatever I can.
